This week was rough. Like really, really rough.
We had 7 appointments and every single one of them cancelled on us except one. And that one told us right when we walked in that she didn’t want to join our religion, she just wanted to discuss her beliefs and hear our information and she hopes that she won’t offend us. And then she talked for two hours straight in Japanese that I couldn’t understand and my companion is the most quiet person on earth so she wouldn’t say anything the whole time, even though I kept kicking her under the table. And then at the end we were told that she didn’t want to meet with us again. Our one and only investigator, M san, dropped us. We showed up full of hope and the baptismal commitment and she told us that her body hurts, she has no money, and she doesn’t want anything to do anymore with any of this “faith stuff.” And then I was like BUT WE TAUGHT YOU THE PLAN OF SALVATION, DON’T YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?! And she said no, she doesn’t want to go to heaven after all. And good ol’ H san refused to discuss anything about church with us.
So, I have a list full of people who won’t contact us, full days of nothing but trying to find people, and a newly developed fear of calling to confirm appointments because they will cancel. It may or may not be making me panic a little and wonder what the heck I’m doing. Also I am very much regretting the time last transfer when my mission president said that he thought he would give me a challenge this transfer and smiled and said, sure, I can do it. OKAY I WAS WRONG. This past week I’ve almost broken down and cried everyday because I thought that there is no way I could keep going.
BUT. I still know without a doubt that this is all for my good. And Heavenly Father has heard every single one of my pleas this week. And he’s given me the strength to keep going. And I know, although I can’t see it, that my effort these past 5 weeks have have somehow helped someone in someway.
And then I read the liahona…”If we spend our lives focusing on what we don’t have, we may fail to be truly grateful for what we do have.” Okay, humbled. So, a list of the good/funny:
-we taught a lesson to a less active who is deaf and going blind. Hahaha I’m sure we looked hilarious with our hand signals, white board, and attempts at japanese sign language. She is the nicest lady ever and made us lunch and MIRACLE said she will try to come to church this Sunday.
-in one day someone asked if tamagusuku shimai and I are siblings (reminder: she is JAPANESE). And then someone else asked if she’s my daughter. Yikes.
-we met a lady from Russia and she told me that I am sunshine like my hair. Day made.
-a member ran into us while we were dendoing and bought us hot chocolate
-everyday I have tamagusuku shimai give me a grade on how correct my japanese is. This week I broke 90% hahaha best day of my life
-another less active, sai shimai, came to church!! She surprised us all! She usually can’t come because she has PTSD and anxiety. But we visit her every week and she said that our visit this week gave her the power to come. I LOVE HER.
-we get to go on the military base for thanksgiving next week and have a real thanksgiving dinner with the American families! Soooo excited.
So life is hard and it stresses me out majorly but I’m still grateful for it.
“I promise you that you will one day stand aside and look at the hard times and realize that he was always right there beside you.” President Monson